Interestingly enough, I thought I was unconscious, after the pain I’d felt I probably should’ve been. I still felt a slight (rephrase huge) throb in my left hip. That stubborn pain aside, I was somewhere that wasn’t recognisably on Earth.

I looked around at the huge line spread in front of me, the start of the line seemed to be hidden by clouds, much like the ones I seemed to be standing on, I noticed as I looked at my feet. I was no longer in my school uniform either, the pinafore dress I was wearing seemed to be from the 1960’s, deep red in colour, made out of denim and it didn’t quite reach my knees, the shoulder straps buttoned on at the front and a nice (sarcastic) pocket stitched at the front. To match my 1960’s pinafore dress I had nice (again, sarcastic) black leather shoes (almost like T-bars) and knee high white stockings.

As I examined my new outfit further, as the line moved forward, I discovered that I kind of liked it (this time I’m not sarcastic) the shirt I was wearing underneath the dress was silk and had ruffles that were off my shoulders.

When I got near the front of the line I saw two gates guarded by something I could only describe as a cat girl. She had a tail, ears, paws and by the look of it whiskers too. The gates were rather similar, though one was made of menacing black twisted metal and the other: inviting gold and silver (cliché much?).

After a few more minutes someone stepped out of the gold and silver gate. Seeing as though she had a halo and white wings I assumed she was an Angel, and when you put two and two together you should come the same conclusion I did: I was dead, and judging by the look of the gates the menacing one was Hell and the inviting one was Heaven (yet it was still so cliché).

I can’t say I’ve been one to actually believe in religion, so my guess was I was going to Hell. It seemed logical, however unappealing.

The Angel said something to the cat girl which her burst into laughter, the cat girl had a booming meow-like laugh that startled the man she pointed to Hell. They continued their conversation, I couldn’t make out what they were saying but the cat girl said something and they both roared with laughter this time. Honestly, I couldn’t see what was so funny about this situation. All the people around me were dead, and yet they were laughing about something. After a few more minutes the Angel said something and the cat girl agreed and sent the next person to Hell.

I finally arrived to the front of the line, all the things I’d done in my short life came rushing through my brain as I contemplated wether I was going to Heaven or Hell, I gulped as things that’d send me to Hell quickly overtook things that’d get me into Heaven.

“What’s you name?” The cat girl asked me, she had a puzzled expression on her face. Closer inspection confirmed she did have whiskers, and they twitched like she was irritated. I took into note that she hadn’t paid much attention to the others being sent to their afterlives, (so why am I being kept up?)

“Liah Sceller.” I replied to her, even I heard the nervousness in my voice. (She didn’t ask anyone else’s name...)

“Cause of death?” she frowned slightly as she asked me, I paused to think of how I’d died, presumably when I ran out onto the road.

“Traffic accident.” I replied. (What else would happen if you ran out onto the road without looking first?) The cat girl looked to be thinking about something before replying

“Hit by a speeding truck sound right to you?” she asked, I paused, (It could’ve been a car for all I know, but I want to get out of here,) I nodded, anything to get out of that situation. “That way.” the cat girl pointed to the gates to Hell. I gulped; I was going to Hell, an eternity of torture, doomed to spend forever in suffering.

I opened the gate and entered Hell, the second I left the fluffy white clouds and stepped on the stone floor of Hell I was hit with a blast of heat. (Good thing I’m wearing a dress.)

Hells entrance was dark, really dark. I couldn’t see where I was going and it was uncomfortably warm, making it worse a few steps in I spotted a pair of ochre eyes glowing in the dark, (yeah, that’s right, I can come up with fancy words to describe things) I was sure my situation couldn’t have gotten any worse, but naturally as soon as that’s said something goes wrong doesn’t it? (Stupid Cliché’s, always happen at the most inconvenient times)

“Follow me,” whoever owned the ochre eyes also owned a ridiculously deep voice. (It kinda creeped me out too) without much choice in the matter, I followed this deep voiced, ochre eyed person through the dark till we finally emerged from the tunnel (yes that’s right, Hell’s entrance is a tunnel) into a eerie red glowing world, I kept my eyes lowered, I’m not sure why but I did.

“Trent, you didn’t scare the poor girl did you?” I looked up to see a woman with short scruffy hair and the same colour eyes as the person who led me through the tunnels (who I now assumed to be Trent)

“Put a sock in it Meg, you do your job and I’ll do mine.” Trent retorted to the woman who simply scoffed at him, Trent was obviously the male equivalent to Meg, they looked exactly the same only Trent was taller and angrier looking (plus he’s male, I’m sure that speaks for itself)

Trent trudged back down the tunnel, leaving me in Meg’s care (from what I can gather at least.)

“New girl, follow me.” Meg said to me.

IOIOI

It was cooler out of the cave, but Hell was still really hot, I’d say roughly 28-29o Celsius, the dress I was wearing sure did come in handy that’s for sure. I followed Meg and saw that most people wore t-shirts and singlets, although there were many various styles. Ranging from some stuck up looking people with mobile phones (was it really necessary when you’re dead?) to some people dressed entirely in black (I believe they’re called “Goths”) with chains and studded leather stuff.

“’Kay this is where I live.” Meg stopped at a small building. We were (judging by the very few building around) just outside of a town. Meg opened the door and motioned for me to come in. I looked around before I walked in and took in what her house looked like. It was rather drab and boring: white washed walls and varying shade of grey décor.

I shrugged and walked in. the walls began to ripple as I got further in then changed from white to a deep red that matched my pinafore dress. The décor had changed from varying shade of grey to semi gothic red and black stuff. I gawked at the room and Meg just laughed at me.

“Catches even the best of them off guard.” She walked down out the only door besides the front one, which I assumed was to the bathroom and toilet.

“Ooh floral scent” I heard her squeal. I walked down the hall to see her kneeling with her head inside a cupboard under the sink. “Look, snapdragon” she giggled as she showed me the hair product. “What’s your name by the way? I forgot to check the list” she asked, investigating the contents of the cupboard further.

“Liah,” I replied simply. Meg stood up and left the bathroom.

“Right Liah,” she repeated absently, she entered the lounge room, with me following not far behind. “Well if there’s anything you wish to know ask away, you have your entire afterlife ahead of you.” she threw the hair product on an empty armchair and plonked herself down on another.

“Are you my guide or something?” I asked. Out of all the questions I had in my head at this point that one sounded most relevant. Meg simply burst into laughter.

“Not the first question I get asked by a human but a good one none the less.” She calmed herself down, “I suppose you could call me that.”

“What’s normally the first question you get asked?” I admit I’m curious to see what the rest of the human race thought was the most significant question to ask a demon guide upon arriving in Hell.

“Why have I gone to Hell?” she replied, she threw her legs over the arm of the chair and shrugged, “because apparently it wasn’t already clear to them,” she laughed again. How that was funny I don’t know. Must be demon humour.

“Y’know, you’re an odd one Liah.” she said suddenly after a few minutes of silence, Meg was nice, not at all what I expected a demon to be like I kinda liked her, she reminded me of Stephanie, my best friend back on earth. I hope she’s well. I love that girl to bits. “We demons can usually sense an aura, like a signal, of belonging from residents but it’s as if you don’t exist.” she crinkled her nose and began fiddling with a lock of her hair that hung over her eyes.

“I don’t exist?” I asked (it was a rather puzzling statement.)

“I’m sure it nothing.” she assured me, flicking her hair back into place, “Shall we take a tour?” she asked.

IOIOI

As we walked though Hell (I walked, Meg hovered above me) Meg pointed out things to me, explaining how important they were.

“That doesn’t even make sense.” I told her when she told me that the Bell tower was significant and I shouldn’t go there.

“Just trust me. Besides you have all of eternity to learn these things.” She spun around in mid air, “now, the most important thing to know is…” she paused for dramatic effect. Maybe knowing that I had eternity on my side made me just a little more patient, because I wasn’t really that eager to hear it. “All the humans in Hell are just ordinary people, no murderers or anything, the only people who make it into Utopia are young children and babies who haven’t really had enough time to do something huge in their lives.” (That explains the alarming number of humans around the place.)

“So I haven’t done anything wrong, specifically?” I asked.

“Probably not.” she shrugged.

“You haven’t got a clue do you?” I mumbled angrily

“Hey, I said I didn’t check the list.” she replied, (I’d gathered that already) “If you’d committed a horrible sin of some description Lucifer would’ve told me by now.”

“Lucifer, as in Price of Darkness: Lucifer?” I asked, Hell was nothing like what Earth had made it out to be and that was the most Earth like thing I’d heard so far.

“No,” Meg replied, “The Lord of Darkness: Lucifer” she corrected me.

“Since when has he been known as ‘Lord’?” I asked

“Around 12,000 years by our time.” Meg replied, “oddly enough, Lucifer is the only Angel to ‘Fall’ to Hell” she did the inverted comma’s with her fingers.

“I take it Falling from,” I paused to remember what she called Heaven.

“Utopia” she offered.

“Utopia is quite different to how I imagined it in my head.” I mused.

“Lucifer just used the returns staircase.” She deadpanned.

“A staircase?” I raised a questioning eyebrow

“He said it was painful” she winced. “Besides, he’s actually a nice guy; the Lord of Darkness is just a nickname we’ve given him.” I suppose demons have a great respect for Lucifer. “That over there is Vincent,” she pointed to a demon sulking in the corner, “When he’s not sulking he’s very vicious,” she paused, “Wise to stay away from him at all times” she skipped on the ground for a few seconds then began hovering again. (I say hovering because she doesn’t touch the ground, nor does she flap her wings)

Discerning demons from humans was rather simple, (aside from demons wearing almost uniforms) demons all look relatively similar, for one they all have scruffy black hair, and secondly their eyes vary from deep crimson red and bright golden yellow, lastly they all hade pointy ears that drooped down. And us humans, boy do we stand out. ‘Goths’ and ‘Pop Princesses’ plus many other genre’s of people walking around, groups of people had a demon hovering above or behind them either pointing out things or explaining what they’ve just pointed out.

“Where are we going now?” Meg asked, she’d taken to hovering behind me and point out various things of importance or ask me where I was going.

“How should I know, I only just got here.” I replied, I was just exploring, she knew the place better then I did anyway.

“You’ll get lost,” she sang, resting her hand on the back of her neck,

“I doubt it.” I sang back sarcastically, (what a stupid comment Meg, you’re my guide.) she frowned in thought then shrugged, my guess was she worked it out.

After a few more minutes of walking around I found a place to sit, a quaint little park filled with cute little shrubs and some sought of trees that had really pretty leaves. (Don’t question my descriptions; you notice these things when you’re dead.)

I sat on a bench and thought for a few minutes. Meg sat next to me and cocked her head to the side questioningly.

“I’m thinking.” I replied to the look she gave me. She simply raised her eyebrows. “You’ve had years to get you head around this stuff, I’ve had two,” I glanced down at my wrist that usually had a watch on it out of habit, “maybe three hours, and no time to think,” She nodded solemnly and smiled

“You really are an odd one Liah,” still smiling she shook her head.

We sat in the park, on the bench for quite some time while I thought of things that, when I was living, would never have occurred to me at all.

IOIOI

While I was sitting on the park bench thinking, a phone rang. I looked at Meg questioningly. I shook my head, I didn’t have a phone on me.

“Well hey, that’s me.” she pulled her phone out of her pocket, “Won’t be too long.” She grinned at me then walked out of earshot and answered it.

I watched her have a conversation in the distance and decided it was probably none of my business. Naturally I was curious, ‘If it didn’t involve me already what could it possibly be?’ The question that leads to many disasters in peoples lives, because that’s the point when people become involved and a lot of the time, it would’ve been better if they hadn’t.

I resolved to not get involved, I’d done plenty of things that’d gotten me into trouble led solely by that question, and I wasn’t about to do the same.

“Hey Liah, wait here.” Meg told me when she came back “The big boss’s called me in for something and I don’t want you to get lost.” she answered the question I hadn’t even asked.

“Sure, I was going to do a bit more thinking anyway.” I smiled

“Be good.” She winked, her wings seemed to grow a little before she flapped them and flew off.

IOIOI